Once we learned the 3Rs, acquired the necessary qualification and skills, we were off and running in the Career Race. Along the way, we picked more know-how to do our work, learned how to be a good team player, honed our managerial and leadership skills as our hands reached for successive rungs on the Career Ladder.
Eventually, this Career Race comes to an end. There is no more alarm clock. No more urgent emails from higher ups. No more meetings that I must attend, only those that I choose to.
We now face a blank slate. We spend time with family. We dust off our hobbies. We pick up new interests. We travel (extensively). We volunteer. We renew or build new friendships outside the workplace. We selectively maintain the workplace friendships.
And yet, consider when someone asks, “How is retirement coming along?”, we pause for a bit before we respond. And after detailing how we fill our days, we miss that ‘punchiness’ that we had during our Career Race when asked, “What do we do?” A punchiness that dripped with aspiration, excitement, anticipation, hope, etc.
Here is a provocative thought. What-if we approach retiring as a project to dis-assemble our Career Self? What does this even mean?
Firstly, it means a hard look because the Career Self may have prioritized relationships that propelled its career. A hard re-assessment of the important relationships that were neglected and did not receive adequate Tender Loving Care. To bind any wounds, to learn how to ask for and give forgiveness. And a commitment to the time and effort that is essential for healthy and intimate relationships. There is no free lunch for intimate relationships.
Secondly, it means another hard look at what one needs to discard. Transferring wholesale all the attributes, mindsets, interpersonal strategies, etc. that were important for Career Race success into Retirement is a sure recipe for being mis-understood.
Taking this second point to the ultimate, this is discarding the “False Self”, which is a self-fabrication, with multiple masks. The False Self is an illusion, which one discovers quickly when one has a terminal medical prognosis. A corollary to discarding the False Self is discovering our True Self. This is the deepest essence of you, and it requires significant inner work. But this is truly the punchline in Retirement!
I am not writing much about the False Self, True Self as there are many good resources on this. Suffice to say, some of the material which is more spiritually oriented comes from the famous Trappist Monk, Thomas Merton.
And the third and final point, is discovering My Purpose after work. How wonderful to be able to respond to “How is retirement coming along?” with heartfelt responses from your True Self that knows its Purpose.
Hopefully, these thoughts help if you are still in your Career Race, as it’s wise to ponder on these before the Career Race comes to an end!
There is a phrase, the ‘second childhood’, that sometimes occur during adulthood. This is when an adult acts like a child, either for fun or due to diminished faculties. I exclude those falling in love in their mature years, when eros embers are re-kindled and burns brightly.
Kids love to step into puddles of water. Adults avoid that, as they know the mess and clean up involved. As adults, the instinct to weigh the pros and cons of every decision has become ingrained. This technique has a technical name, called “decisional balance.” As adults gradually transition child-like joy experiences out of their daily life, they replace it with adult-pleasure experiences. And sometimes, the latter comes with some un-wanted baggage: image and self-centeredness.
It was snowing heavily on Feb 2, 2025 (a rare occurrence here in Washington State). I decided to take a walk. And as the snow flakes got larger, I just felt the urge to open my mouth. I found that one had to ‘intentionally go’ for the snowflake (like catching peanuts thrown in the air) as the flakes were not falling into the open mouth (perhaps mini currents of warm air were emanating from the open mouth?).
There were a handful of people in the neighborhood park that is by the lake. And the ducks swimming towards me created a nice ripple pattern. Simple joys experienced and recorded into my memory.
It has been a long while since my last post. I was reminded about [the existence of] my blog by an email offering to provide advertising services to promote my blog! A serendipitous prompt this morning.
Joon suggested buying beef from Costco and having a home cooked meal for Valentine’s Day dinner. We bought beef from Costco in the late morning. It cost us $53.08. For 1.77 lbs of prime tenderloin Wagyu beef. Or 28.32 oz. The three pieces were similar in size. Each piece/cut would then have weighed an average 9.44 oz and cost us $17.69. Besides being one of the most flavorful steak meals we had for some years, we had that inner satisfaction of money well spent. Celebrating Valentine’s Day dinner without the heartache of a depleted wallet!
Now, why did I write the preceding paragraph that way? I was moved to practice what I am in the midst of reading. A book titled, “Exercises in Style” by Raymond Queneau. This book essentially depicts 99 ways of narrating a tale in different styles. The paragraph I wrote was the “Precision” style, with lots of hard facts.
This book was targeted at writers, so that they can write about a scene/tale in many ways!
Another author was moved to create 99 comic strips for the same underlying tale. I enjoyed this a whole lot, and flag-posted my favorites. Favorites in the sense that I am hoping that my perceptual senses will be broadened so that I do not rush to judgment when I come across a situation visually!
I would NOT recommend purchasing “Exercises in Style” at all. There were not a few pages that I felt were too contrived or too technical for an avid reader like myself. “99 ways to tell a story” is one that is my personal bookcase.
So, how can these two books impact my life going forward? Can I picture 99 ways to get out of bed, wash up and dress for the day? Will some ways better impact how my day unfolds? Hmm…..
And since it is about post Valentine’s Day, how about challenging myself to express my love to Joon in 99 ways? This idea brings a smile. How sweet life can be.
Some claim that being Prideful means that one takes pride in one’s work and life, one holds oneself accountable to high standards.
There’s no doubt these aspects of pride that instills accountability and standards is positive for Society. But let’s imagine that you are in a setting (be it work, extended family, or social circles) where Everyone is as proud as you are. Everyone has that same level of Pride. Do you anticipate that you can build lasting and nurturing relationships with Everyone in this setting? Or do you anticipate otherwise, given you have experienced how your own Pride has led you down paths to hurt and fractured relationships?
Let’s consider being Humble. What are the downsides? Being walked upon and viewed as a doormat? But isn’t Humility not taking into account how Others might treat or view you? It’s a Catch-22, isn’t it? That one can’t even begin the journey towards Humility when one is concerned about the possible treatment and opinions of Others.
But coming back to that same scenario. If you are in a setting (work, extended family, or social circles) where Everyone is as humble as you are, can you build lasting and nurturing relationships with Everyone?
And in this comparison and reflection, will you arrive at your own wisdom, between Pride vs Humility.
Thursday November 3. Salceda to Santiago de Compostela. 7hrs 40mins, 29km.
[St James] Cathedral de Santiago
There were hand made signs along the way suggesting that one should relish the remaining miles. It’s like letting a tasty morsel linger in one’s mouth and on the taste buds!
Our adrenalin kicked in, I woke up at 4am, Joon woke up at 5am. We tried our best to go back to sleep. Eventually, we got out of bed about 6.30am, prepared, packed, had our breakfast and walked out at 7.50am. We were not the earliest because when I looked out our bathroom window at 6.47am to check whether the rain forecast was accurate, I saw a Camino pilgrim already walking on the road, heading away from our hotel! The forecast was correct, with intermittent drizzle till 9am.
9.43am. The road direction is where we are walking towards, and it’s clear skies!10.31am. The forested trails were a delight as the sunlight started streaming in.12.21pm. A grove of trees with the afternoon sun.12.22pm. The trail we were on.1.22pm. One final look at how trees appear at different times of the day.
After A Lsvacolla, as we were climbing a fairly steep incline, we noticed a home owner had built something into the side bank of his property. We slowed down and paused to take a look given there were bars and a lock.
This was set into the bank of the homeowners land bordering the trail path. The Yellow Arrow showed the upwards climb. But what was the bars and lock for?A tiny statue of St James!!
Because we had started the walk from Salceda, which is 11.3km nearer to Santiago than Arzúa (latter is the recommended stop in most guidebooks), we didn’t experienced the crowd of pilgrims that we had expected. This made for a more quieter and contemplative walk!
I took this time to walk ahead of Joon and “rest” and “ponder”. It takes effort to coral the mind from wandering, the so-called ‘monkey mind.’ And the Camino built upon my earlier insights to peel back another layer for purification and cleansing. Here are my code words for my own recollection – The Foolishness of Expectations, Precision, of Being Right; and Recognizing the Inner Child, Preferring Heavenly Rewards.
One of the areas to pause, which is very difficult for most pilgrims, is Monte de Gozo. This is because this is within 5km of the Santiago Cathedral, which draws all pilgrims.
Monte de Gozo, a.k.a. Hill of Joy, provides one a first view of Santiago and the spires of the Cathedral. There used to be a monument that was torn down. But there are still significant in ground and structures that makes it worthwhile to ‘pause’ here.
This was the monument that was removed due to stability concerns. This was taken in 2019, when we walked the Camino Frances. Our friends Richard and Jo joined us in Lugo.In ground monuments.Close up of one of the four in ground monuments.Pilgrim statues. This is off the Camino route, on a hill. One has to head towards the ‘meadow’ section of Monte de Gozo. It’s probably 500-600m away.
Reaching the Praza do Obradoiro, which is the square in front of the Cathedral is a poignant moment. Pilgrims are spread out throughout, many sitting, some lying down. All reflecting on their journey, struggles and joys.
3.50pm. Our arrival.
We arrived during the siesta hour, which turned out to be a grace for us. The majority of the shops were closed and thus, we were not exposed to all the consumerism and shoppers. It was like night and day compared to our previous Camino arrivals.
Close up of St James. In this Matamoros depiction, it was to rally believers against incursions.This is the Holy Door that’s open this year due to the special dispensation from Pope Francis. There’s a stained glass of St James above this door.The main altar of the Cathedral de Santiago.
At the Pilgrim’s Chapel, there was a running slide show with contemplative music. Here are some of the “Beatitude of the Pilgrim” that I found particularly meaningful (there were 8).
Blessed are you Pilgrim, if you discover that the ‘Camino’ opens your eyes to what is not seen.
Blessed are you Pilgrim, when you don’t have the words to give thanks for everything that surprises you at every twist and turn off the way.
Blessed are you Pilgrim, if on the way you meet yourself and gift yourself with time, without rushing, so as not to disregard the image in your heart.
Blessed are you Pilgrim, when you contemplate the Camino and you discover it is full of names, [stories] and dawns. [my addition]
Here are several stories. We met Eun Kyung, a Korean lady on the trail on this last day. She was walking slowly as she had a bad knee. She’s on a several months vacation in Europe as well as plans to travel to New York. She had absolutely no plans to do the Camino when she left Korea. But in her travels, she kept bumping into pilgrims who had completed the Camino and encouraged to do it, despair her apprehension. She accepted the promptings, and she’s relishing the experience.
We met Benoit, a Belgian at dinner. He did not have a reservation and was advised by Shanta (cook, waitress, owner all-in-one) to return in 15 mins or so, when space would open up. We invited him to join our table as there was ‘one’ extra chair (in a table for four!).
Benoit had wanted to do the Camino in March 2020 due to stress (work, Life, etc.) He was in the verge of just resigning but Covid struck. So, he continued working. And when travel restrictions lifted sand vaccines became widely available, he was granted a three month no-pay leave (as his Company correctly deduced that he would resign otherwise. Engineers like him are hard to find!)
Benoit was able to slowly and contemplatively work through his ‘stuff’ through the long walks. As he himself said, if he wasn’t on the Camino, these concerns would surface at random times during his normal day and he wouldn’t be able to work through them, and they would fester.
We also met an Austrian on the trail. He shared that his Camino started 15 years ago for a small stretch. He started resuming the stages left uncompleted, especially after a recent heart condition was rectified.
Finally, this story is about Shanta, the owner-cook of the Green House restaurant in Santiago. Her mother is Malaysian, and she herself was born in Wales. She now lives in Santiago, and was hankering for Asian food. She decided to set up a restaurant, and hearing from pilgrims hope difficult it was to find vegan food, she set up Green House. By the way, she does eat meat! What a noble aim – filling a need for Others!
Shanta, Green House owner-cook. Reservations recommended as it’s a small cost set up. Open except for Tuesdays. She plans to close from Jan 10 (after Feast of Epiphany) – Feb 10
On the Camino, New Stories are being written every step, every moment, every day. We are the Authors, both perceptible and what lies deep within and unseen. Learning to listen within creates that New Story, as creation is on-going. Blessings abound, we just have to open our hands and hearts to receive. God Bless you.
Wednesday November 2. Sobrado des Monxes to Salceda. 9.5hrs 33.3km (included 1hr lunch).
Sign from Hotel Adam Marcus, Sobrado des Monxes. A great stay, great value, generous self serve breakfast, exceptional customer service!
The sign says it all. Temperatures were below 50F when we left our hotel just before 8am. Even though we are tired out from each day’s walk, somehow we seem to have no problems waking up early!
One last look at the Monastery at 8.16am.There was a nice mist rolling in.
Walking out of Sobrado was along the main road before transitioning to quiet countryside roads and forested trails. An early incline gets the heart pumping and increases our core temperatures. All is good.
We walked a bit with two other pilgrims we met earlier, Pedro (Lourenza bus stop) and Claire (Albergue O’Abrigo at Miraz). It’s great to chat a bit before we parted ways.
Claire raised a hot topic about the adjustment to daily Life after the Camino. The common thread seems to be the inability to retain the Camino serenity, calm and peace. Which may be why many return for multiple Caminos! This is not our case but that’s a different story.
It’s easier to discern the factors when one compares one’s routine on the Camino and back to daily Life. I posit that one of the biggest factor is that on the Camino, we do not pay much attention to the news, gossip, television, etc. To put it another way, what’s going inside us is what is around us on the Camino. As computer programmers say, ‘garbage in, garbage out.’
A second factor is likely our appreciation and gratitude for everything that we come across on the Camino. In daily Life, entitled attitudes likely robs us of that our enjoyment and gratitude for what is.
A beer garden, using empties as decoration. The perennial question, how to bottle the Camino?
Lastly, going through a Camino that is very dependent on the externalities and the surroundings, is likely the most ephemeral of experience. Unless there is an internalization of the experience, one cannot carry it wherever one goes.
Santa Maria de Sendelle, 12th century church with iconography of the Last Supper and Temptation at Boimorto. This is before Arzúa.
We decided to have lunch in Arzúa because it’s a bigger town. And we found a very nice restaurant where the service was impeccable and the food delicious. We wanted some local cuisine and we found it at Casa Nese.
Delicious mussels in lemon sauceThis pilgrim facility was closed, one of many that we passed. It seems most shut down at the end of October.
We have had good fortune, in the dry weather, with good company for a bit, and long stretches when we were the only pilgrims! Tomorrow, we walk into Santiago de Compostela!
Tuesday November 1. Miraz to Sobrado dos Monxes. 6 hours 33 mins. 25.5km.
A typical Galician breakfast consists of espresso and tostada (toasted bread) with olive oil and (fresh) tomato paste. We had latter fresh before but on this occasion, our lodging provided this in single serving Jan containers.
Galician breakfast
Today’s walk was shorter than yesterday, and in better weather. But what was more important for us was whether we had recovered sufficiently from yesterday’s effort. We passed that test. Co-incidentally, the sum total of yesterday’s and today’s mileage is the same as the last two stages, namely 61km! This increases our confidence about our walking ability for the last two stages.
While this stage takes us to the highest point in the Del Norte at about 2,300 feet, we were already starting at about 1,600 feet!
The first 4km were reported in the guidebook as ‘some of the last scenic off-pavement walking on the Norte.’ Yes, it was. And we took a leisurely pace at that.
The purported tallest height of the Norte was given to us in mostly gentle gradients along pathways. There were some steep inclines along forested paths but this was really insignificant relative to everything we had experienced in earlier stages. Thus, today’s walk was relaxing.
Trees in their fall colors lining the pathTwo horse riders came up on us on this path.Grazing horses having a great viewThere were many wind turbines on the surrounding hills/mountains.
The relaxing walk today allowed for some pondering. Refinement is a process of removing impurities or unwanted elements from a substance. My thoughts gravitated not to the impurities, but the pure essence that results from this process.
There is a term used for benchmarking, namely the ‘gold standard.’ IMO, the experiences walking the Camino helps refine us and our ‘standards.’ What gets refined is unique for each of us.
I toyed in my mind various gold standards that I possess and (intuitively, sub-consciously) apply in my life. For example, what is my gold standard for compassion? For humbleness? For generosity? For forgiveness?
It’s not only the absolute measure in a standard that’s important. But its integrity too. For example, when we profess certain humanitarian values or compassion standard but balk at homeless shelters in our neighborhood, we lack integrity.
Christians have a universal gold standard. It is Christ’s life, teachings and commands.
Lastly, the Camino experience can sometimes continue during one’s sleep. Two days ago, part of my contemplation and prayer during my walk was on that self-purifying [refinement]. That night I had a dream that was specific to that afternoon’s self purification prayer! It was as though the dream was either affirming the correctness of what needed to be purified or was part of the purification process! I am hoping it’s the latter! Furthermore, I dreamt of my wife’s deceased parents. I have never dreamt of either of them before, let alone the two of them together in the same dream. I will find out when we next meet the meaning of this dream!
Monasterio de Santa Maria in Sobrado dos Monxes
We ended our evening by attending Vespers at the monastery. A lovely way to end a relaxing and contemplative day.
Monday Oct 31. Vilalba to Miraz. 9 hours 20 mins, 35.8km (30 mins lunch stop).
The weather forecast was for rain in the morning till 12pm. The forecast was spot on, though the rain came and went multiple times.
We started walking at 8.37am. One of those moments when the rain/drizzle let up at 9.06am. I was happy to observe the winds blowing the rain clouds behind us. It wasn’t long before I realized there were more rain clouds in front of us.
The rain was mainly a light drizzle, not a downpour. We found that umbrellas are more effective than raincoats as they keep our backpacks out of the rain too. Unless it’s too windy.
It’s an experience to walk 3.5-4.0 hours through intermittent rain and drizzle. Fortunately there weren’t many muddy stretches nor significant puddles. Soaked shoes, socks and feet can force one’s attention ‘downward’, which may counter the uplifting of spirit that the Camino brings about.
The route took us through the countryside and small villages. A small village could be a cluster of 6-8 homes with the road passing right through the middle. There were forested paths, open countryside paths and country roads. Traffic on latter was non existent in the early and middle stages.
At about the half way mark of 18km, we reached Baamonde at about 1pm. We saw and greeted a pilgrim who was sitting on a step and applying some tape on his leg; he was likely experiencing shin splints. Joon had twinges off this too, but it was tolerable for her. We took the opportunity for a pizza lunch stop and bought some provisions as the next day was a public holiday (which Hiro had informed us several days ago).
We came across a horreo that had netting on the sides. You can see the corn stacked inside.
As we started the second leg at 1.30pm after lunch, we knew we had another 18km to go. Based on terrain (i.e. ascents/descents similar to the morning’s, I mentally estimated we would reach our destination between 5.30pm – 6.00 pm). Bearing in mind we had already expended energy in the morning.
On the Camino, this stage was the longest in terms of distance. That is not necessarily the hardest as the terrain was not so mountainous as other stages. But the distance still makes it a challenge especially when one has issues like shin splints or corns on one’s foot.
This is really when one needs to draw upon one’s inner reservoir. As Joon aptly put it, we can only draw out what we had previously stored in it.
There’s a mental, physical and emotional drawing that one has to pull out during the Camino. Unlike a fuel gauge that can tell how far more the car can travel based on the remaining fuel, our inner reservoir has no such gauge. And we generally always surprise ourselves! Clearly, there’s a spiritual drawing upon for some of us too.
In Life, there are many elements competing to be stored in one’s ‘external’ reservoir. Money has become too common the major make up of many reservoirs. Perhaps in subscribing to the philosophy that ‘Money solves many problems’, we may become susceptible to the cousin-philosophy that ‘Everyone has a Price.’ Goodwill with fellowmen is a very neglected reservoir element.
Our countryside path led us past several aside trees. There were a couple on the ground that looked edible but Joon wisely pointed out that it’s better to pluck from the tree. We walked on.But from this and other apple skin peelings, we can presume that someone took advantage of the bounty!We passed this 14th century Sanctuario with a fountain tap (in foreground). Latter is called the ‘Fuente de San Alberte). It supposedly had healing properties on those with speech impediments!Roman bridge, Ponte de San Alberte; nearby to the Fuente de San Alberte.The opposite home owner had set up this rest area for pilgrims. Extremely thoughtful.A blessing plaque in rest area.Was it the tree or the blue sky that was calling out to me when I came upon this scene? In Life, don’t we tend to go with one or the other, not realizing both can provide a complete picture?
We reached our accommodation at 5.38pm. The lodging proprietor was expecting us. We gratefully checked in, had a good wholesome dinner (found in such rural settings), and slept for 9 plus hours.
Postscript – I need to consciously reflect what and how I am filling up my reservoir.
Sunday Oct 30. Abadin to Vilalba. 4 hrs 50 mins, 20.7km.
After two days of rain, it was a dry cold day. After a good breakfast at Casa Goas, we started out at 8.35am (the clock was adjusted back one hour at 3am). The temperature was 48F. This was the fall temperature that we had been expecting and it finally arrived. We opted for light pullovers as we figured that we will eventually warm up through the walking. That was indeed the case, though we may need our down jackets if it gets windy.
We quickly progressed to a quiet country road within a couple of minutes. And then into the countryside, via forested paths adjacent to farms and open meadows.
The cool air, damp dirt paths, low hanging clouds and rays of sunshine created a tapestry of colors.
To pass by this, at a walking pace is beyond wordsThe sun against an overcast skyCrossing on a bridge, looking back at the meadows we just passed
Today’s countryside walk in cool weather was greatly enhanced by the fact that we were 99.999% of the time by ourselves. The few people we came across were working the land, three walking pilgrims, four cycling pilgrims, a lady walking her dog, one crafts seller. As the tag line goes, this was ‘priceless’. To be able to soak all these in, with one’s loved one by the side.
Joon found out that about 1,000 pilgrims had arrived at Santiago on the 29th. I am expecting that as we get closer to Santiago, as more routes converge, we will start coming across more pilgrims as we walk.
This stretch of forest path had colorful mushrooms!Yes, cows do take this path too. Being led by the farmer.The rear was ably managed by these two dogs, one was barking quite frequently to keep the 20 or so cows moving along!This gate had beautiful scallop shell designs.Cruceiros came about in the 16th century after the Council of Trent. There are about 12,000 in Galicia! One side has the Crucified Christ, the other has the Virgin Mary.
We arrived in Vilalba at about 1.30pm. We found there was a pulperia opened. Yummy!
Our favorite dish in Galicia.
We discussed our experiences to date, and there was commonality on the core themes. But this story still has four days to be written.
Saturday Oct 29. Lourenza to Abadin. 30 mins, 24.3km.
There’s a well known saying amongst Camino pilgrims, which is “The Camino provides.” Almost every pilgrim will either have a personal experience, or heard from another pilgrim or read about an experience wherein based on a personal need or situation, something unexpectedly turned up and ‘provided’ for said person. Camino forums have many such stories and sharing.
But I am beginning to perceive a different way that the Camino can influence our pilgrimage and walk. I use the verb ‘conspire’ in place of ‘provide’. What do I mean by that?
Firstly, I definitely do not mean to imply any negative or adverse outcomes that typically are implied by this verb, ‘conspire’. Secondly, I do mean that unplanned circumstances/events arise to influence a particular course of action. Thirdly, I do mean that the course of action would not normally have resulted because there was no triggering need/circumstance.
What happened? Well, we had planned to take a bus to an intermediate stage Mondonedo, and then walked the rest of the way to the end stage, Abadin. This was knowing there was a forecast of rain in the 40-60% range from 8am-12pm in the region. We figured we could cope with the rain from Mondonedo to Abadin.
As we waited at the bus stop, another two pilgrims turned up. One was a Spanish (Pedro), the other a Japanese Canadian (Hiro). Pedro was taking the bus to Abadín. He planned to wait out the rain in Abadin before walking further. Pedro was quite adamant that attempting to walk the mountain trails before Abadin was not a wise move. Pedro was in his late 20’s.
There was no arm twisting by anyone but we were persuaded by Pedro’s travel plan. At the end of the bus journey, while having coffee with a Pedro at a cafe in Abadín, we learnt that Pedro was about to start his new job at the Spanish Meteorology Department after his Camino. He had an App that was showing how the rain clouds were being blown across the region! At this point, one could say that the “Camino Provides” as in arranging for Pedro to come to our bus stop and influencing our travel plans.
Where is the “conspire”? It has to do with ‘what is next?’ We now have a consecutive free day. And we only have FIVE days left before arriving in Santiago de Compostela!
Clearly we will spent the time in meditation and contemplation. But a tiny spark in my mind suggested that I should complete reading the spiritual book that I had partially read yesterday. And so I did. And I am now convinced that the Camino conspired to ensure that I read this book and reflected upon it, as part of this Camino experience.
Postscript – it’s a book that I have read multiple times, and I had brought this copy to gift to my sister who I will be meeting in Rome after the Camino! It was as impactful as previously but definitely much needed and at a different point in my spiritual journey.
Journey Within 