Author: Ben & Joon

Joon shared Wednesday this week that she’s currently reading ‘The Immortalist’ (copy bought the day before). The synopsis is ‘If you were told the date of your death, how would it shape your present?’  How co-incidental as I had been drafting this piece for several days. We usually tease each other that we have ESP, and can influence the other person. I think married partners like to think that through ‘nightly osmosis on the bed’, a  partner gets that sub-conscious power over the other. Sounds like a possible Black Mirror episode!  😊

From dictionary.com, a bucket list is defined as “a list of things a person wants to achieve or experience, as before reaching a certain age or dying”. It reached broad awareness when Hollywood released the 2007 movie, ‘The Bucket List’, starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, a story about two terminally ill men on a road trip with their list of to-dos before their time is up.

This notion of a bucket list seems to be an American cultural phenomenon. People in other parts of the world, don’t think or write down a definite list of things to do, experience or achieve before they are ready to depart planet Earth. That doesn’t mean these people do not have wish lists, just not a definite bucket list that once scratched off, they are ready to kick the bucket. Rather, their lists continue to be made periodically, updated, revised. Perhaps it’s also in their heads, not on paper or on smartphones to be whipped out to be shared.

I do see the benefits in making a bucket list. It channels and gives voice to one’s hopes, dreams, aspirations, ‘holes to-be-filled’. Boiling it all down to, how do I want to live and experience life in the (unknown) time span I have left. The most blunt and direct phrase that I came across about mortality is this – ‘Every day, we are walking nearer and nearer towards our own grave/tombstone’. A hopeful and positive take for Christians, is this – At the end of each day, you can tell yourself, ‘I am one step closer to heaven.’

So, how does one start a bucket list?

1. A pencil + eraser + blank paper (or a PC/tablet + word/note pad software).
2. A quiet setting, infused with whatever helps an individual (sunshine, background music, scents, birds singing, etc.)
3. Brainstorming a list of Categories. Mine are Relationships, Legacies, Travel, Experiences, Celebrations, Charity, Spiritual.
4. Finalizing list of Categories and fleshing out specifics under each Category.
5. Dialog with one’s life partner.
6. After some time, loop back to steps 2 – 6, and update/revise.

I feel good about the above approach.

But just as different people have different favorite meals, here are some other approaches that may work in place of steps #3 and #4.

• Ask yourself, if you had truly un-corked a Genie who will grant you 3 wishes, what would that be? Push hard as if it’s only 3 wishes. Before the Genie smiles, and say, you have another 3 more final wishes.
• Imagine the end of a perfect day, when you felt the happiest you ever have felt. Your happiness overflows from deep within. You can’t help yourself, you sing, you skip, you dance. Feel the emotions. How did that perfect day unfold? Rinse and repeat.
• Imagine you have a giant blank scrapbook in front of you. You will be creating and describing your happiest moments, that you want to leave behind and share with future generations. You have all the tools and creative dexterity needed. How would these pages be filled?
• Let your own creative genius guide you. You know yourself.

I will read The Immortalists in due course and aim to change/fine tune my list. My Bucket List is too personal to share in this blog. Not unless you offer to make some come true!   😊

And finally – Perhaps, perhaps this exercise of drawing up one’s Bucket List, may result in the following practice. After waking up each morning, we start the day with a deep thankfulness for another day of vibrant life. We spend a minute or two, visualizing the key moments and emotions that we desire to color the day’s blank canvas with. Perhaps a kiss, a hug, a laugh, a reach out, a heart-felt connection, letting the inner child out. Carpe Diem.

B

This simple and innocuous question took some deep pondering (and soul searching) from me. A name or a list of candidates didn’t jump out at me. I had to think hard, scanning across multiple categories, dimensions and geographies.

I ruled out national leaders, as I had become disillusioned with how politics and governance has de-generated significantly from the golden years of statesmanship for the better good of fellow citizens and humanity/the world at large.

A list slowly formed in my mind, as I considered the discussions I would want to have, to explore, to gain insights/perspectives:

1. Edward Snowden
2. Julian Assange
3. Pope Francis
4. Ayaan Hirsi Ali
5. Chelsea Manning
6. Jeff Bezos
7. Bill Gates

I had to think deeply of females/ladies before I came up with Ayaan and Manning (do I subconsciously have a masculine-bias?). So, this is my list at this point in time, Jan 2018. It tells me that I need to enlarge my world view further, to push and seek notables whose work, ideas or achievements I would want to know and engage on.

Snowden and Assange are individuals who have risked much, to expose deep states that threaten true liberty and freedom. The Pope has substantially moved the Church into its own mini-reformation. Much remains to be done, especially with a clergy rooted in traditions and struggling with past transgressions. Ayaan’s insights into the changes needed within Islam would provide a great dialog on how Islam and Western civilization come to terms and harmony. Manning’s own personal persecution and her future congressional plans point to a deeper convition about the changes needed. Bezos’ success at futuristic business models point to an evolution in commerce and business. It would be interesting to understand how he perceives the evolution of human labor.

Which leaves Gates. He would be the one that I would select, not because of his success at Microsoft. Rather, it’s his work at the Foundation that interests me, how they are addressing global-scale challenges that impact the poor, the sick and the hungry. How he considers the intractable problems and threads a way to jump start, mobilize alliances and seeks a lasting solution. That would nourish my inner belief that we can solve such scaled challenges.

The value of this exercise wasn’t so much the list and the selection itself. Rather it caused me to internalize that I have been coasting along, in regard to observing the world beyond my immediate bubble. I look forward to re-visiting this topic at some point in the future.

Next morning….as I was lying down in bed for the night, it struck me that Gates is not particularly known as a social conversationalist. The idea of how enjoyable or smooth flowing the conversation could be, led me to the category of comedians. That it could be enjoyable as well as insightful. Which ended with two comedians on my list, Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel. While I realize they have writers for their material, they obviously must have some originality as well as passion over the materials they have delivered. Ah…..this matter of the contemporary figure that I would love to spend a day with, is far from settled!

B

In July 2016, I made a commitment to read 100 books over the next 5 years. That’s an average of 20 books a year, or 5 books a quarter. To keep this commitment, I created a simple xls, listing the reading month/year, book title, author, my own 5 star rating and some commentary (to remind me of the essence or the key take aways). The xls serves two purposes, reminds me of my target/commitment and refreshes the benefit that I had from reading those books.

How do I pick the books that I want to read? Firstly, I start with the attitude and mind set that I want to broaden my perspectives. So, I do not limit myself to specific genres or categories. I do remind myself of favorite genres from times past, that I have not read due to a working career that consumed my time and attention. Secondly, I browse the NYT or Amazon’s best sellers list and read the reviews to identify books that I want to read. Thirdly, I open myself up to consider books recommended by Joon, friends, etc. Fourthly, when I visit the library, I scan the shelves for picks that have been set out by staff.

My reading habits was established during my childhood days. My mother, was the school principal at a convent primary school. One of the unofficial perks was that during the school holidays, we were allowed to borrow books from that school library. So, I readily consumed the children’s fare from Enid Blyton, titles such as the Famous Five, etc. I progressed to Westerns, Detective/Mystery, Science Fiction as I grew into my teens. Each genre had its own compelling characters, settings and action that engaged me.

So, what are some of my notable reads since I started this journey in the summer of 2016? Ted Chiang’s “Stories of Your Life” is a fantastic Sci-Fi read. The various short stories depict very possible futuristic scenarios based on (advanced) technology, but what makes the stories compelling is the underpinning and interplay of the human psychology. The 2016 acclaimed movie, ‘Arrival’ was adapted from one of Ted’s short stories.

Jodi Picoult’s “Small Great Things” is the best exposition into the Black American life and experiences in USA. I was very moved by the various characters, and could start to appreciate the perspectives, world views and subtle signals that emanate from a society that is not color blind. It so moved me, that I felt it should be a required college reading text that students should be able to discuss and engage in. This is the only book, so far in my list, to garner a ‘6’ on a 5 star rating system!

As a Catholic, Edward Sri’s “Who am I to judge?” is the only book, so far in my list, to garner a special highlight that reminds me to re-read it periodically. It gently reminds me of the struggles that the contemporary world’s relativity may have on my own internal values.

So, after a year and a half on this reading journey, I have read 39 books, which is 39% of the original commitment. How has the reading affected me? I get a better appreciation of the creative genius of the various authors. I get a deeper insight. I get satisfaction from just reading. And perhaps, the reading subtly encouraged me to start this blog!   🙂

B

I have always been a ‘reader’! From childhood, reading had always been a delicious part of my life…I really don’t recall how it all started, whether I’d started reading before I could walk(!) or whether it was just an escape mechanism into a world of fun, fantasy and adventure! Luckily, my parents indulged my obsession and books were readily available to me. My parents would always joke that if I went missing, they’d find me next to some bookshelves or in a bookstore or library… So, by the time I was 12, I had read all the works of Enid Blyton, (I really mean ALL- from the school series of Mallory Towers, St.Clare’s , Naughtiest Girl , child-sleuths Five Find-Outers, Famous Five to her fantasy folk series of Enchanted Woods and so on..). I loved school stories- the Chalet School series was one of my favorites..and Richmal Crompton’s Just William series of unruly schoolboy William Brown kept me in thrall.

It was lucky for me that I attended a ‘convent’ school that had a wonderful library…a treasure trove of books that I constantly borrowed from. I also spent most of my allowance buying books….I wish I had kept my well-worn library from yesteryear.

Education-wise, of course I went into something that would require me to read! Yes, I majored in English Literature. Ah bliss, having to read and read and read for my degree, and discovering many, many more genres that were appealing and so interesting.

So it has come to this; Reading to me is like breathing…I read everything and anything. I like mystery novels, murder-mystery, fantasy, sci-fi, true life depictions, historical-based, .. oh, what don’t I like! I have just finished Ernest Cline’s Ready Player One, and I did like that too. The many references to 80s pop culture totally resonated..and yes, I really really like YA novels too! ( though I am a YA three times over..). Did enjoy Alice Hoffman’s The Rules of Magic recently and will start on The Immortalists soon, right after I finish Celeste Ng’s Little Fires Everywhere. So many books, so little time! Actually, I do multi-task reading too, since I have to prepare for the Camino, am also reading Hape Kerkeling’s I’m Off Then (very entertaining so far..), and doing some Spanish reading (not much, but getting more comprehensible- can order food and drinks in a cafe now!).

Bottomline is, I find out who I am every time I pick up a book…immersed in it, I ask myself questions all the time. Answers may not come, but thinking about my responses is the reward achieved.

I end with a quote from the incomparable Ursula Le Guin who passed away recently-‘My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool; it gives me all the world and exiles me from it.’  May we all be humans and fools.

J